I hear those words on a daily basis now... I know they will come true soon but how soon? I wish it was today I wish it was yesterday! Yesterday I had an awful day. I cried pretty much all of the day and just had no will to do anything. I miss Matt horribly we hardly get to talk and when we do its kind of short and on Instant messege. I can not wait till he gets to his final destination and we are able to set some sort of schedule. I miss him horribly! i do not feel myself with out him here. I need his hugs, I need him to tell me things will be ok. I need him to love on me and tease me and make me laugh. Or do I? Maybe I just want all those things and not need them but I feel horrible with out him here. I look at my two sweet little boys faces and feel horrible for being so down. All they want is to play and eat and just have a good time and there goes mommy again crying.
My really good friend came over last night and just sat and talked with me and although at first I was worried and skepticle that it would do any different, it did wonders! I felt honestly better after she left and fell straight to sleep! She just sat there and accepted me crying and being a mess and that made me feel great. Then not being totally alone at night made me feel better too. Hearing her experiences and feelings helped a bit too.
I see today as once again a new day and i am ready to start this battle all over again. I am ready to try and smile and be happy and know that my husband is safe and we will do ok with out him.
So as I carry a smile on my face and a warm heart I start our day....
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