Break down...

So today I had so many errands to run.. And had to run them all with my two crazy boys! We went to the Credit union in St louis and they were all over the place. Then we went to the Dr.s office and once again opening things and grabbing things and running up to people! Then to the pharmacy to get Alex's Medicine for his ear infection. Then after that we had to send daddy his 2nd big foot locker full of junk foods... and that was a mess!!! The boys went crazy in the post office I was so embarrased! I feel like blaming Matt, blaming myself, blaming my boys, yet I know deep down inside there is no one to blame. I am trying so hard to be strong for all of us it just becomes too much sometimes. I have gotten to talk to Matt 2 times now since he left and have gotten one email from him and he is not yet where he is going to be living for the next 13 months. I can not wait till we all get in to a routine and when we can have times to see him on Skype and talk on the internet! I need him, I need his hugs I need him to be here and tell me things will be ok and calm me down. I have been a crying mess now for 20 mins but Now I get to pick myself back up and keep going for the three men in my life!