Soul searching.

We have our ups and we have our downs. Lately things have been up for a while. We have adjusted to having my parents here in the house. I have been going to bible study and it's been really helping me and opening my eyes to so much. Helping me see how I can be a better parent, better wife, better daughter, and better friend. It has let me see how wrong I have been in the past and the things I need to do to change my ways. Matt is doing pretty good. He has helped the Afghani's so much and I am so proud of all the work he is doing over there. They finally got milk recently and he asked for His favorite cereal! lol It is funny how we take so much for granted ... even having our favorite cereal we dont think that some where out there someone is not able to eat cereal or even have milk. Matt keeps telling me that the first thing he wants to do is go out to eat! lol he misses fast food, and he misses pizza!!! Poor thing! i miss him so much, but I am at peace with out situation and realize this is our life at the moment and I have to get through it day by day no matter what. I can't give up, I have to keep going and make the best of what I have right now. I love Matt so much an dI am so blessed to have such a strong, caring,devoted man as my husband. I am working on myself right now and I am so blessed with everything I have in my life. 10 weeks down. :) I only hope that the rest of the year goes by just as fast. in the beggingin of Matt leaving I set goal in my mind of times I wanted to get through and I would feel it was a mile stone, Bryan's 3rd birthday is one of those. It is soon coming up and i am so excited. It is one of my bigger milestones i have wanted to get to! :) and it is almost here!! wow!! :) Our baby is going to be 3 already! Feel's like not long ago i was drugged up and having my 4lb 4 oz little Bryan Zachary! :) He is such a great little boy getting so big! such a big helper, has such a temper on him and so much sas! lol He is his mother's son! lol Yet he is sporty like daddy! and outgoing like daddy! He is a great big brother and has a GREAT imagination! Alex is doing good as well. :) He is so sweet and mild tempered, Loves to go go go !! He loves to be outside and loves to play all sports. It is such a joy to watch my two boys grow in to such great lovable children. I get so sad thinking that Matt is missing this whole year of her little boy's joys, and sadness, and fears, but realize that I am so blessed to be able to see everything! I am able to share with him everything and I am able to talk to him each and every day and that is more than some people can say. :) Tomorrow we celebrate our first bigger "family holiday" with out him. I am blessed to have his family here and my family as well so that we can get through this holiday and not feel so alone. I honestly can say I do not feel alone and have not felt that way in a long time! :)