Never fails...

So yesterday after being excited about the fact that we were on the start of week 3, We had a tough day. Bryan is so clingy to me. Every where in the house I go he is following 5 seconds behind me, being the only parent here and having the kids 24/7 and them getting sick and us being cooped up at home... is over whelming. Bry was not taking naps for like 3 days .... and calling me from his room and kicking and hitting the way all through out nap time. Alex was fussy all day mostly yesterday. We went and mailed daddy's Valentine's day care package yesterday as well and it weighed 50 lbs!!! A great man helped me bring it in to the post office. I was very blessed that he happend to be there and help me take it to the counter as I had Bry with me. I miss Matt so much! It is hard not talking to him and not seeing him. When the kids act up or I feel overwhelmed I break down because I just want him here. I just want his kisses and I want his hugs.
I hate that the Military has not supplied these men with more options to talk to their families. The familes left behind need that support from the deployed family member. We need to see them and talk to them at least more than we have. My boys need to see their daddy. It breaks my heart each and every day that they do not have their daddy here to help them play h ockey or help them be good boys. Matt finally got to skype me again last night and that was such a releif after my day. I love him so much he is so great. Even with me crying my head off to him he tried his hardest to be strong for me and let me know that he feels the same way. He misses us just as much as we miss him. He wants to see us and be with us and is so hurting when he does not get to see us too! He is so supportive. He always tells me that I look great. He thinks I am wonderful! I love him so much... He is such a great loving man!
I am proud of myself , I have finally started cooking dinner for the boys again, Yet I realized why I did not for 2 weeks. It makes me honestly sad to sit at the table with them and not have my husbad there eating as a family. I feel sad that Matt is so far away and not getting the yummy home cooked meal that we are. Then at the same time it makes me feel great when the boys love the food and are so excited to sit there at the table as a "family" I am still trying so hard to make things normal for them.
Bryan is on night 3 of sleeping in his own bed. I am so proud of him. one night I just said ok you are sleeping in your bed and he wa sok with it. He is such an awesome kid. He is listening to me a little more and it makes me proud. I love my boys so much they keep me going ... :) I am ready for a time when we have good days and keep the good days and not have a good day and then have a horrible day the next! It never fails....